A woman’s frustration

A woman is expected to keep the family united. Give her all with everyone, smile when she is hurting. Don’t be too hush, don’t be too angry.

You fume with anger
Hide away your feelings of feeling betrayed, accept that the is another woman and be okay, fight for your man they say but who is fighting for you. If the tables were reversed would he be so understanding?.

You are a woman bare it.
Don’t fight him, fight the problem
But how because he brought the problem to our home and now I’m expected to move on make room for the new normal even though it kills me inside.

Inam Ngqekete

What love means to me

Do everything with love,
love will reward you. Love
is certainly not easy but in the
end it will prove to be worth all
the sacrifices it demands.

It will nurture you and if you are
lucky it will take you to roads that
you are too afraid to walk on and that is where the magic is. Love will help you grow and the best thing about love is you will always have a home and something to hold on to; even in times of trouble and tribulations it will carry you through.

This is what Love is to me.

Inam Ngqekete

Acquiring growth

Growth is never simple.
Sadly it does not come naturally
as you age. Maturity requires patience,openness and honestly with yourself.

Becoming a better person does not only end with you making that decision to be better but it starts with you making changes in your life. Change can be terrifying but it is necessary. Having honest open conversations with yourself is hard especially because it is you versus you and admitting your faults to yourself is not easy, taking the blame and owning some of the mistakes you have made can be heartbreaking.

It is easier to blame an outside force
and point fingers to someone else other than yourself for the things that are going wrong in your life. In order for the growth and maturity you want so bad to take place you have to look at you first and start working on you no matter how difficult it is.

Inam Ngqekete

Learn

It is easier to put pressure on
other people, to want them to be
better for you not fully understanding
how much they already trying for you.

Sometimes you have to try and be better for yourself and do things for yourself. It is not going to be easy but you will make yourself proud.

Everyday is a chance to discover who we are and to find better ways to be better for ourselves and for others. We get multiple chances to learn and grow, it does not matter how much you have been through you never stop growing and learning new ways of life.

Inam Ngqekete

Healing

Healing is a complicated process
One has to endure solely. Feelings of
feeling lost can be overwhelming, eager to find your spark again sometimes it might feel like it is gone forever but it is not It just takes time to find yourself again. You find small pieces of yourself that remind you of who you are and you create new pieces to complete who you have become and who you will be at the end of this tough lonely road.

Inam Ngqekete

Faith

Even though I was feeling drained
scared about the uncertainty of my
future i realised that this moment is tough but it is an awakening, something inside of me has cracked open, I now know that I deserve better. I do not know what tomorrow has in store for me but I do have faith that things will work out for the better, I do believe in my dreams coming true. Sometimes trusting the process is all you can do.

Inam Ngqekete

Expectations of you

Do not make the mistake
of living for others ; do not make
that huge mistake of living
according to other people’s expectations of you because you will be robbing yourself your entire life. Live your truth always, do what makes you happy no matter how it looks. Go where you feel most alive where ever that is. Follow your heart where ever it may take you and move with faith trusting the process believing that it will all work out in the end.

Inam Ngqekete

Accept yourself

Sometimes you do not need to “adjust” to normal, you do not need to be “adapt”to a situation or become”realistic”, all you need is one person to see the world as you and that way you’ll know that you were never the problem, that way you will know that your way is okay too and I hope that when you do meet that person you will find the courage to chase for the stars. Create your own reality and live by the rules that make you feel like you.

Inam Ngqekete

Wait does this mean I’m alive

It is happening
My prayers have been answered
It feels surreal but it’s happening
I am happy, genuinely happy.
For the first time in a long time
I feel free, I feel like anything is possible.
I cannot believe it I feel so alive, is this what it feels like to open your heart.
Have I been sleeping this entire time.
I can sabotage this whole thing but
I choose not to because I owe it to myself,I owe my self this great opportunity to live my life to the fullest. It does not matter what happens next ; the only thing that matters is that I lived, I felt joy, I experienced life as it is. When I look back I will proudly say I gave it my all.

Dairy of a 20 something woman

How you imagine your 20s
in your teens is nothing like how
your 20s turn out to be. I have been
trying to make sense of my life but the harder I try the more impossible and overwhelming it becomes. I have become so confused whether your 20s are for late night partying, focusing on your career or settling down. How can one find balance in this busy life? Is there enough time for everything between jobs, chasing dreams, boyfriend, family and friends one is bound to drop the ball somewhere or with someone.